Is it all for nothing to rake your leaves when all your neighbor's yards are covered in brown and orange crumblies? I think every neighborhood association should have assigned days in which all home owners should have to rake their yard on the same day. My yard shouldn't be punished for everyone else's lack of love for their yard.
I imagine a fabulous neighborhood where every weekend before Thanksgiving all neighbors celebrate the annual "Rake, Rooftop,Rub and Roast ." Everyone would rake their yard and then decorate for Christmas. After decking the lawn with red and green, the neighbors would gather together for massages to ease their sore muscles. All massages would be fully clothed ones though. Let's be honest. It's all I can handle to see you getting your morning newspaper in your robe.
After the massage, everyone could gather around a big bonfire and feast on seasonal goodies and drink egg-nog lattes. The bonfire would be an open forum for all the neighbors to apologize for the World War III that they overheard while you were "discussing" the layout for all 93 extension cords to be plugged into 2 working outlets. The best part is that The Blais' would never have to stand up to apologize for anything. We could just sit back and listen to all the other bickering neighbors and then go home and talk about them. Thank goodness Nathan and I NEVER argue about silly things like extension cords. It's much easier to stomp around the yard declaring "JESUS is the reason for the season! Merry freakin' Christmas."
Yeah, that would be a nice neighborhood. I think it would be called Lizville. Because perfect neighborhoods need perfect names.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
As soon as this housing crisis is over, save me a lot in your little subdivision. And instead of a Nativity, can I put up a huge blue glowing Star of David since I'm Jewish? Okay, I'm really not Jewish, but it would be fun to be the token Jew on the block... Or the token lesbian couple if I can get Mike in a dress...
That would mean a lot of socializing and small talk...sounds like the neighborhood from hell to me!
;)
Most of my neighbors are college kids. So we could throw a keg party while decorating our small balcony. Throw in a few Jackass stunts and you've got Christmas at the Animal House.
Post a Comment