Monday, September 10, 2007

Do's and Dont's

A few Do's and Dont's I've learned since the last time I blogged a very long, long, long time ago. Hopefully, this will make up for my blogger-laziness.

DO celebrate big birthdays with a good friend. DO make said friend feel really really old with a special gift basket full of old-man essentials.

Don't worry youngins, you can depend on 30 year-old John to smell Irish spring fresh the next time you have to help him use his denture cleaner after a bout with prunes. He may, however, not be able to finish a large-print crossword puzzle before a little preparation-H after his afternoon fiber pill. It's okay though. He'll change into a clean white tee and fresh black knee socks in order to take you out to spend his $30 in ones after filling up his pill case for the week.

DON'T go to Shogun's or have cookie-cake the night before your Weight Watcher weigh-in morning. It's NOT pretty.

DO thank your mother-in-law for teaching your husband to wrap presents perfectly. DO something nice for your husband after he wraps YOUR friend's shower favors until 11:30 at night.

DO make other people's friends your friends. DO make plans with savvy people to start your own event planning business. DO whatever you can to make a bride-to-be feel special.

DO use any excuse you can to have a chocolate fountain!! Nothing says lovin' like flowing chocolate.
DON'T plan a shower during an OU game.

(Nice Toes! ...Nice Tread-Marks!)

DON'T ever assume that the driver will make sure you're IN!! the car before stepping on the accelerator. DON'T call your husband to tell him what happened. He won't care. DO talk to your fully licensed physical therapist friend to make sure your foot will be there the next morning. DO laugh hysterically about the whole experience and DO drink peach champagne and go dancing at a bachelorette party to forget about it. Do, however, never let the driver forget about it. It's funny to see her squirm. Plus, you can use it to your advantage to get free salad coupons.


Jessica said...

I'm not apologizing anymore. Take some responsibility for being a SLOW POKE!

I'm totally just kidding....

Derek said...

Please DON'T tell us about the favors you do for Nate at 11:30 p.m!!

Elizabeth said...

That's disgusting! I did the dishes for him freako!

John said...

You sure your pinky toe is not broken?

not so zen momma said...

I was the only eye witness. It was hilarious!

Elizabeth said...

Leave my pinky toe alone! That pinky toe is a Bradshaw family trait. And everyone knows that the Bradshaw family is awesome!