Lid Licker

Warning: This post is completely random. If you have brain cells that you want spared, I would just click the red X at the top right of your screen now. I've looked back at my posts from a year or so ago and realized I used to be witty and insightful. Now, I've stooped to this:

Confession. I am a lid licker. I know that some people have big executive working lunches. Others shovel in a cheese cracker between dropping the kids off at preschool. I, however, sit at my desk and contemplate the reason that I always lick the lid of my pudding cup before throwing it in the trash. Why in the heck do I do that?

It's not like there's not plenty of pudding ready to dive into in my little snack pack. In fact, the pudding in the cup is ultimately better than the tiny bit hovering on the under surface of my lid. It's creamier and freshly stirred. So why would I choose every.single.time to lick the lid first.

This brings me to question other things that I lick. I've realized that I like to lick the peanut butter off the safety seal of my beloved Jiffy (creamy in case you're wondering). I like to lick yogurt remnants off my Yoplait. And I like to lick the inside of mini snicker bites if they've been in the car too long on a hot day. I definitely love to lick the knife after strategically applying butter and jelly to toast before placing the knife in the sink. Oh. And licking the ice cream scooper before going in the sink is good too.

Why do I do this? And why do I only lick certain things? I LOVE ketchup. But, I would never lick the safety lid of that. And you couldn't pay me to lick the safety seal of my fat free mayo. Yet, I wouldn't hesitate to load up my sandwich with it.

Am I alone in this? Are there any other lid lickers out there? Would anyone like to send me a list of blog topics to write about in which I won't have to talk about my tongue?

Dinner Rut...Help a Girl Out

I'm no Aubrey. I don't really like cooking and currently I'm in a dinner rut. I'm tired of making the same ole thing night after night and thus I've fallen into the trap of skipping cooking all together. I can only make pancakes and some form of Hamburger Helper so many times. Go ahead. I'll wait while you feel sorry for my husband. I'd feel sorry for him too if I wasn't so busy feeling sorry for myself and the lack of funds to hire a personal chef.

So, I'm sending out a plea to my fellow dinner cookers for your tried and true recipes that your family likes. I only have 3 stipulations:

1. The entire meal needs to be complete or ready to go in an oven within 30 minutes. And that includes any required chopping, peeling etc. Spare me the Rachel Ray lecture. Her 30 minute meals do not count. There is no way I can chop an onion in four seconds and although I'm not really a picky eater, I don't really keep capers, polenta, and things of the sort in my pantry. I need regular people food! Ya know, canned goods. Lots of preservatives. High sodium stuff. And I need it to be ready before it's time for me to sit down and watch the latest episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. (Stop judging me!)

2. The less the amount of ingredients and pots required, the better. I tend to be a little messy when I cook and my dishwasher (aka loving husband) gets kind of snarfy when it appears that every pot we own is piled in the sink, yet dinner is served in one big bowl. Go figure.

3. No Meatloaf!! That's just nasty. Whoever thought mixing together raw meat, crackers, ketchup and eggs together with your bare hands and forming it into a loaf shape was just plain crazy. Blech.

I do the basics. Spaghetti. Chicken and rice. Beef and Bean Enchiladas. But, I'm wondering if any of you have some other fast recipes I could try out. My husband is shrinking away. And you've seen him. He's not really in the category of "those that could stand to lose a few."

The Top Things I learned From The RNC

1. Republicans canNOT dance.
2. Old people love balloons. And buttons.
3. "Maverick" is more than just Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun.

Okay, I promise no more political posts. This week.

Pit Bull with Lipstick

So, apparently after watching her speech last night at the Republican National Convention, Sarah Palin and I are now BFFs. At least that's the best explanation I can come up with as to why the Alaskan Governor was in all of my dreams last night.

When I woke up for bathroom break numero uno (pregnancy is so much fun), I realized I had been dreaming about being on a welcome committee with my mother, and we were to escort Mrs. Palin around the city during her stay. The first order of business was to find her and her family ( 5 kids?! Obviously, they need more to do in AK) a place to live during her time here. Of course a hotel was not in order. It was a dream after all. And, ask Nathan. My dreams are rarely rational. No. No. We had to find the Palins an apartment to live in. So, of course, no regular apartment would do. I had to take her for a viewing of the new penthouse apartments in Bricktown, OKC. We found a great furnished one with easy access to a Starbucks, the airport (for ease of travel) and to the new home of the OKC Thunder.

Then when I woke up this morning I realized I had had another dream about Sarah Palin the same night. This time my mother and I were taking her to a restaurant (Lottinville's) and while we were ordering from our waitress (which just happened to be a lady I work with in real life), I remember it being a big deal that we were going to pay for ourselves instead of having Palin pay for us all. Then when the check came, she admitted that she couldn't pay for everyone because she was "getting rid of all excess spending in her state." There was also some episode involving Palin, myself, and hair brushes in the restaurant bathroom, but that part of my dream-recall is fuzzy.

I thought back today to figure out why I had dreamt the certain things I did, and this is the best I could come up with:

* Why Sarah Palin?: Because I watched all of her speech last night.
* Why Bricktown apartments?: Because I had flipped through a "Downtown" magazine at work.
* Why Starbucks?: Because I had been craving a pumpkin spice latte all day.
* Why OKC Thunder?: Because I had convinced my boss we needed to leave work 5 minutes early to catch the official news conference announcing our new NBA team.
* Why Lottinville's Wood Grille?: Because I had been thinking about wanting to go back with Nathan if we could afford it. Their bread is A-Mazing.

So, I guess you could say Sarah Palin is definitely the women of my dreams. I'll ignore the fact that if I was going to dream about someone I watched on TV the night previous, I wish it had been Anderson. Of course, I would've made him pay for me.

Because someone asked...

So I've had an inquiry from a faithful reader as to when I was going to "show pics of the baby process." Naive as I am, I assumed she meant pictures of the ultrasounds we have had done so far. Then when she mentioned a "weekly/monthly update, " I soon realized she was talking about wanting to see pictures of ME! Are you freakin' serious?!

I would like it clearly stated now, that under no circumstance will I will be taking pictures of my growing stomach and posting it for the world to see. I don't even like looking at my own big belly. Why would I make all of you look at it? Granted, I have been guilty of looking at other people's "bumps" and comparing the growth week by week . But most of those people were skinny to begin with and let's just be honest, I hate those people. ( I don't really hate them. I mean I kind of do. But, I don't really. Yeah, I can't stand them).

There are some very fortunate ladies that when preggo have that cute little basketball perfectly set right there in the middle of their tummy. At this point I'm just hoping my two rolls will eventually become one. (Wasn't that a pretty picture for you.) So this ONE pic is for you, Jenny. I took it this past weekend at the lake. It's the last one I'm taking until February 2009, so you better enjoy:

Lake Bums

Nathan and I will be headed off to Lake Texoma for some family fun. Thank goodness my husband loves me so much that he sprang for a motel instead of making me sweat it out in the tent. When it's hot, that thing makes me feel like I'm wrapped up in cellophane and someone is blowing a hairdryer on me. Not to mention the fact that EVERY time we stay in our tent, it inevitably rains; no matter what my handy weatherman predicts.

It should be fun. I love going to the lake. This year will be a little bit of a downer, though, since I won't be able to partake in all the jet-ski action. I totally asked the baby-doc and he looked at me kind of strange and mumbled, "uhhh.. No." Whatev. More snacks for me as I lounge in the shade of my sister's boat.

What fun things do you have planned for this three-day weekend?

Does this make me a bad person?

I was driving home from work and when I turned on our block I saw one of the neighbor kids leaving my next door neighbor's house with some sort of pamphlet. I just knew she was selling something. So instead of pulling into my garage and going to get the mail on the curb as usual, I drove right past my house and all the way down the block until I thought it was safe to return home without her seeing me.

Does that make me a bad person? I hate saying "No" to people. Especially little girls with pamphlets and their cute dog on a leash. Even though I know its a ploy, the dog makes a difference and I inevitably buy some candle or coupon book to a restaurant I never eat at. So, this time I just avoided the situation all-together.

Now, cookies? That's a different story. I will always answer the door and fork over half a pay check for those insanely expensive but undeniably tasty Thin Mints. Forty dollar wrapping paper? Not so tasty. So, I ask again . Does THAT make me a bad person?